Be Not the One to Judge

I saw a young girl doing this in a grocery store, and the lady that she judged.....This is something that I wanted to share.  Sometimes, even the best of us are guilty of judging others. 

You are in grocery store. Harried, stressed and exhausted. There is a woman in front of you, youngish- 40's maybe. She is walking exactly where you want to be, where you deserve to be. She is not walking fast enough. Not moving fast enough. You clear your throat loudly. Hoping she takes the hint. You want to yell "Move it or lose it sister!" at the top of your lungs. She moves ahead a bit and slowly reaches for an item on the shelf. You feel your heart start to race, blood pressure go up. The urge to tap her with your carriage is overwhelming. You have to get home, you have dinner to make. You have laundry that needs to be finished. You have things to do. Clearing your throat didn't move her fast enough. You sigh. Loudly. She glances at you and smiles. A warm smile. She grabs her shopping cart and walks forward. Still not fast enough for you, but she is out of your way. You grab what you need and you are off. Zipping past her, dirty glance in her direction. The nerve. Some people. World revolves around them. As you reach the end of your shopping, you glance over and see that she has only made it another 4 aisles. You think she is lazy, checking prices because she is poor. You check out and you leave. Not giving her another thought. Places to go, things to do. You are normally a patient person. But seriously, if she lost some weight, got a better job or whatever her reason for being so slow, so in your way, she would have gone faster.

In the time span of a quick stop at the grocery store, you glanced at a woman briefly. You didn't actually see her. You didn't get a sense of her. All you saw was what you projected onto her. Lazy, slow, fat, poor. You tried and convicted her in the space of a minute. You felt better about yourself without even realizing it. Then you were gone.
What you didn't see. What you would have seen had you taken a moment. Only a moment and actually looked at her. Was pain. Not in any outward signs, but in her face. In her walk. The way she maneuvered her shopping cart, getting the item and getting out of your way. You didn't see her. But she sure as hell saw you. She smiled at you. Knowing full well your anger at her. She smiled. Until you walked past. Then the hurt set in.

There are 50 million Americans, one in five, that suffer from an autoimmune disease. 26.2% of Americans, one in four, suffer from mental illness. 7.8% or 5.2 million Americans will suffer or suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). All of these show no outward symptoms. Nothing you would see at a quick glance. But each one is like an albatross hanging around the neck of the person who suffers from it. That woman in the grocery store was trying. Trying to be independent. Trying to live through the pain. Each step she took sent shock waves through her. But she was determined. Determined not to let her disease stop her from living. She did it. She did her own shopping. This is a natural thoughtless act for most, for her it was an act of sheer strength and determination. But one that no one sees.

Every day you walk past people and automatically judge them. It is a human trait. You see what you want to see, what you are conditioned to see and you judge. Probably not even realizing you are doing it at the time. Everyone is so busy. So caught up in their own little world that we fail to see what is often right in front of us. We judge. We sigh loudly at the slow shopper. We tell the overweight person to exercise more, not understanding it is their medication that makes them that way. We tell the man that can't work, can't function to get over his depression. Just be happy already. People just don't get it. They don't see it and when they do actually see it, they turn their heads and are thankful it isn't them. They judge in order to distance themselves from it.

These people that suffer from diseases you can't see are so impressive to me. They work, they get up everyday knowing what is in store for them. They do it any way. They strive for independence and they try so hard not to let the world see just how hard it is. They lean on those close to them and try not to feel the guilt that it causes. They take medications that make them sick, but are up every morning with their kids. They try. By sheer force of will they make a life for themselves. They are strong, they are tough and they understand that when their disease puts limitations on them, it's time to find a way to work around it. They do it everyday. For some people getting up and out of bed is a victory . Grocery shopping is a cause for celebration. Going fishing and spending time alone for the first time in years, life changing.

I was talking to a friend last week. She suffers from an autoimmune disease. She gets out as much as she can, and does what she can, however sometimes, those days are far and few between.  Moving might limit her, or just being able to get dressed.  She was in constant pain but she did not let it stop her. She faced her disease and found ways to work around it. Her happiness and her strength was palpable. Without even realizing it she was inspiring. We all have limitations. We all have something that stands in our way at times. We get frustrated, we cry and yell "Why me?". When what we should be doing is taking a page from my friend's book and say instead, "What can I do different to get where I need to be?"

Don't just look. See. If you spend to much time making judgments and not seeing people for who they really are, it is you who will lose out. Finding inspiration in people you meet on a daily basis makes life so much more interesting. Everyone you come across in life is fighting some kind of battle. Maybe, just maybe, they can shed some light on yours.

Don't just look. See.

How to Know God

We all ask the questions, how do I get to know God, how do I become closer to Him.....Getting to know God takes a lifetime. But the journey is wonderful. How to go about it? By knocking, asking, and seeking. They are ways to get to know God. How do we then knock, ask, and seek?
The important thing to know is that we all do fail in our pursuit of God once in awhile. But the secret is persistence. When we consistently keep on knocking (entering into the presence of God), seeking (cultivating a relationship with God), and asking for help in our daily lives, we are getting to know God in the process.
“Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Whoever seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door is opened.“(Matthew 7: 7-8, CEB)
One of the most exciting things in life is learning to do ordinary things for God. When we become Christians, we don’t suddenly stop making dinners for our families. But now we can serve God while we prepare the meals. It does take some practice to get that mind set that we are doing everything for God. But when we really get into serving God while we go about our everyday routines, we start seeing God’s presence in our lives in a very special way.

This is seeking God’s will for our lives. This is getting to know God in the midst of our everyday lives. This is to cultivate a relationship with God.
When we pray as we work, we keep on getting to know God. When we ask for God’s help, we are less likely to worry about the matters in hand. When we ask for direction as we read the Bible, God will reveal his wisdom for us. When we ask God to show how we need to live out the Bible text we are reading, God will respond. This is asking for God’s help for our lives. This is getting to know God as we pray, study his Word, live our lives. This is to interact with God.
How about knocking then. I think knocking is the entering into God’s presence. It’s the crucial moment when we decide whether we seek God or somebody else. God will open the door, when we knock. This is also a way of getting to know God. Because of Jesus we are welcome into God’s presence anytime we knock. As C.S. Lewis has said “God is not proud…He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him.” So let’s keep on knocking on the right door. God wants to be found. God wants to be known. Thanks be to God!

Gracious God,
Thank you for always being there.
Thank you for drawing us to you again and again.
Give us persistence to keep on knocking, asking, seeking You.
Enable us to get to really know you.
We love you and we adore you.
Be praised forever and ever.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Reality and how it likes to show us our true strength

So as things were going, I started my therapies, 2x a week with occupational, physical and speech therapy.  Upon reading my discharge papers, I found that the doctors had in fact diagnosed me with complex migraines with a tia.  No wonder there are resdiuals!!!!!  I can't move my hands, I've slipped in the bathtub once...I'm sure I looked like the lady who went "Help I've fallen and can't get up!".  That is the joke in this house, unfortunately Kyle was sleeping and Kevin had left for work.  My speech therapist is working with me on my long speech issues and swallow.  We are noticing when I'm eating it takes two to three swallows to get something down.  With PT, well my left side sucks.  My hamstring is week and because of the ankle being damaged so many times, thank you to all the falls, we are having to rebuild my whole leg and arm.  Now on to occupational therapy.  This didn't really hit me till yesterday when the therapist was asking questions about how things are done in the house.  She asked, do you cook, I said not really, my husband does it.  She said do you do laundry, I said no, Kevin usually does that.  How about cleaning?  Kevin.  You would think that this would have hit me sooner and yet it hasn't.  Kevin has been running our house for almost 7 years without any real help from me.  I talked with him last night and told him for the first time it actually connected.  I didn't realize all he did.  In my brain Kevin is always stressed and usually being a pain.  But until that therapy session yesterday, Kevin has been running our house.  It is crazy when you have those realizations.  Me and Kevin are working on what is upcoming with my therapy sessions in hopes that we can work through all this together.  I can't imagine doing this without him.  Also, I have earned an appt with a CHD cardiothoracic surgeon on the 27th of this month.  We will see how this appt pans out.  There is a lot of questions that I have.  Dr. Teodori is one of the best in the country.  So we will see what he has to say.  I will probably post again later tonight.....but this is my thoughts for right now:

 

I think that too often, we are left wondering why we're left standing alone during a trial. In reality, we need to look right in front of us and realize that we HAVE the blessings we need to make it through a difficult time. Are we too stubborn to recognize them? Are we too blind to accept that they are our blessings? Perhaps the blessings come in a way that we weren't expecting and we let them pass us by without acknowledgment.

Yes, life is challenging. Life is HARD. Life is exhausting. But, look around you and realize that there is SO much to be grateful for. It can all be taken away from you in a split second, so why not live for today ... enjoy this very moment ... recognize the good around you ... be grateful for what you have, regardless of whether is easy or hard ... and thank God for the life he has given you.

Life is short, why not make the best of it.

Be grateful.

Be happy.

Recognize your blessings.

Wow, what a week

Things to remember each day!!!!!!

So you would think that a simple week would come and go with no issues.  Nope, not in this house buddy.  Last Saturday night me and Kevin were taking Kyle to the Valley of the Moon to see the Dark Crystal (one of our favorite movies).  Before we left, I told Kevin that I had a splitting headache, and took some aspirin not even thinking about it.  Got home after an uneventful night, was having some chest pain, and decided, take my meds, go to bed.....Let me just say this, if you wake up in a foggy like state, it is no fun.  Sunday I was so tired and everything was just slow motion it seemed.  Kevin went to lay down and sleep before work.  At 5 when Kevin woke up, he woke up to see my left side of my face drooped....Couldn't life my arm to save me, and my left leg was more in a dragging like state.  I called my friend Erica to come over and take a look at me and see how I was doing.  Most of the time I would fight a trip in the awesome ambulance, but I didn't, I knew something was really off, and just didn't want to acknowledge that.  So here I am in the back of the ambulance, I'm sure looking like I was drooling like hell on myself, and made it to the ER.  Now let me just say, when the ER is busy, your lucky to be seen in 3 hours.  I was seen, evaluated, CT'ed etc, and they told Kevin that it looked like I stroked or had a TIA.  They admitted me for a stroke.  The next morning when the neuro doc came in to take a look, I just barely had movement in my face, still having issues with my arm and leg, and making fun of myself.  I was then told that since both CT's were clear, that they were pretty sure that I had something called a complex migraine.  Apparently these little beasties mimic strokes!!!!  As if that isn't bad enough, whatever hit me exacerbated my stoke issues, and so I'm starting from the ground up.  Speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy.  YAY ME!!!!  Tuesday I was discharged and am currently trying to rest before I go back to work.  My heart sister Joanie had a sucessful surgery, and is doing really good.  I prayed like you wouldn't believe.  She has grandbabies to watch grow up.  On the up and up, past that, I'm trying to just be good.  I'm making it one day at a time, and have turned over all of this to God.  So much of this I have no control over, and God will put me where he needs me at the time I need to be there.  So, here are a couple pictures to help you recognize the signs and symptoms of a stroke:

Things that Make Me Happy List!!!!!

Today, grab a sheet of paper and start writing down everything that makes you happy, that makes you smile and warms your heart. Write as many ideas as you can. The goal is to make this list the longest list you’ll ever make in your life! You’ll keep this list somewhere accessible and feed it regularly (I like every day). Some of the activities will be very simple (e.g.: drinking a cup of hot chocolate while watching your favorite chick flick), some will require more finances and/or logistics (e.g.: going back to Disney World with your family or going on a cruise). And that’s great, write everything down.
Now what do you do then with this list? Here are a few ideas:

• Whenever you have a few moments to spare during the day, grab your list and do one of the activities you noted.
• Better yet, schedule a Happy Moment every day, or at least every week, and do something nice for yourself.
• For the more complex activities, include them in your 1-, 3- or 5-year plan. You’ll have something exciting to plan and work for!

With this, you won’t have an excuse to not pamper yourself. It’ll help you have conscious personal moments, and that’s priceless. You’ll also have something really nice to look forward to every day. How amazing is that? So get on your writing, and I wish you very Happy Moments!

Wanna Be Free to Be Me

There are a lot of people who have the “I-wanna-be-free-I-wanna-be-me” mentality. Their ultimate goal in life is “to be themselves”, whatever that means.

This is can be very problematic in our “fallen” world.

There are two big problems in this mentality. First is the word “free”. What most of us consider freedom is actually abuse of freedom. Modern man’s idea of freedom is doing anything you want. That is not freedom that is license. Freedom has boundaries. You are not free to murder or steal.

Many people like to use the word “freedom” so they can be free to be selfish. They like to do whatever fancies them, at all cost. Like a father or a mother who wants to be “free” from his/her family. So they leave their families to pursue their personal happiness. That is not freedom that is abandonment.

Another problematic part of that mentality is the “me”. Modern man in general has no clue who he is. He is fashioned by his environment, especially by the media. It is the same media who educates the masses that being a fallen human being is normal. And to strive to be the human God created us to be is psychologically problematic.

Our idea of “me” will be probably egoistic. Our “me-attitude” can be sum up to “It is all about me and to hell with the rest.”

Our idea of our humanity is very selfish. It is all about getting what we want.

But that is not who we are.

We were created to love. To forget ourselves in love. God created us to have a “We” attitude and not a “Me” attitude. Selfishness is the total opposite of our humanity.

It is same with freedom. God gave us freedom not to be selfish, but to love. Only free people can love. A selfish person is not free to love because he cannot love anyone else but himself. It takes great freedom to love, for most of us are slaves of our fears and selfishness.

“Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” -Pope John Paul II

Jesus was the freest man who ever lived, for He was God. But Jesus spent His life doing the Father’s will and not His own.

“Yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42

If we want to be really “free” and to be really “me”, we must start defining freedom and ourselves by God’s standards and not of the world’s.

So how do we do it?

We must love God with all our being, and love our neighbor as ourselves.

The ultimate act of freedom is to love.

The fulfillment of our humanity is love as well.

So be free to give your “me” to love.

12 Steps on Being A Good Person

Throughout the years I have had many mentors who have influenced my life, both dead and live, in the soul (mind) and body areas of my life, but there is only one who has also significantly impacted me in the spiritual area of my life.

In this secular world many people tend to forget that we are a triune being – spirit, soul and body, and that we need to tend each area that constitutes our life in order to live a full, balanced and successful life.
So let me introduce you to, in my opinion, the giant amongst mentors.

This is not about religion. This is about real life lessons that can be applied to your life in an instant, and I highly recommend that you take them and apply them to your life immediately.

1. To Serve Is To Be Great
Here is the secret to great leadership. Leadership is not about rulership. It is about serving others. And in giving to others you will never lack for any good thing in your life.

2. There Is A Cure For Worry
To live a worry free life is a joy. Anxiety is a killer. So to be able to face each day, knowing that if the world can exist in such beauty and splendour, there is nothing that you need to be concerned about. Take a fresh look at nature and get the point.

3. Love Conquers All


When it comes to love we are given three directives: Love God. Love your neighbour. Love your enemies.
The first step forward to develop this love in your life is to learn to pray. I have found prayer to be an incredibly energizing practice. Now if this is not familiar to you, let me explain that this is not the point where you get all holier than thou on me. Prayer for me is simply sharing my heart with one greater than myself. You will often find me talking out loud as I pray, or sometimes I’m simply speaking quietly in the depths of my mind to one greater than myself.
I was actually up at 3:30am this morning praying. That happens to me from time to time. But I also pray while I’m at work. I pray while I hike. I pray in the car. I pray as an individual, and pray as a family.
But what is prayer? Simply handing over life’s good and bad that we’re handed to one far greater than ourselves – and that even includes our enemies. Seems back to front to conventional thinking – but I have seen many an enemy turned around 180 degrees through the power of simply praying that good happen in their life.

4. Follow The Golden Rule
This is such a wonderful principle. Simply, do as you want to be done. Often the good turn won’t come back from the one you did it for – but it will come back from somewhere in this amazing universe that we live in.

5. Ask For What You Need
Go on, I dare you. Ask. If you don't ask for something, how can you expect to recieve anything back. The power is in the asking. Ask, and in your asking expect to receive. When my son asks me for something, as his mother I cannot resist the pull that it invokes on my motherly heartstrings to give him the best that I have to offer.

6. Judge Not
Point one finger in the direction of another in judgment and you have three pointing straight back at you. Not good. Resist the slippery slide towards judging others.

7. Keep Your Word
If you can say yes. If you can’t say no. Don’t muck about by telling a lie when you know that you cannot do what you have promised. The word ‘no’ can be your most liberating friend if used wisely. You can’t do everything, so start practicing the use of it. And if you say ‘yes’ ensure that you do what you say – even if it is inconvenient. This builds a depth of character in your being and trust from those around you.

8. Give In Secret
There is nothing worse than someone blowing their own trumpet. Practice the art of giving in secret. Your reward will be great.

9. Forgive Others
To forgive others is to free you from the disabling chains of unforgiveness. Sorry is sometimes the hardest word to say, but once said it is liberating. Don’t wait for others to apologise. You lead the way and be the first to offer the hand of forgiveness. This is not about wrong or right, but rather living a life of freedom.


10. Speak Good Words
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, so use words wisely. Put a watch over your mouth and analyze the words that leave your lips. Are they positive? Or are they tinged with negativity and judgement? This is serious business, so pay heed to the advice given. It is truly the difference between salvation and damnation – here on earth – let alone throughout eternity.

11. Nothing Is Impossible If You Have Faith
Faith is a small word, but a powerful one at that. Faith is trust in a greater one than yourself, trust in the abilities that have been placed within you, and trust that with every step forward you will find your way towards your dreams and your goals. With a sprinkling of persistence added to the formula you can do but one thing – win!

12. Use It Or Lose It
Every one of us has been endowed with a specific gift or natural talent that requires use. If you fail to lose it you will lose it. Whatever you do, don’t compare yourself with the other guy or girl who seems to have been given a bunch of talents. Use the one that you have and develop it. These represent your personal strengths, and like any muscle, the best way to develop a strength in your life is by strengthening it. So at every opportunity use it – and that way you will never lose it. You will in fact enhance it and position yourself to become a leader in your chosen field of endeavour.