"You can't heal a life of pain overnight. Be patient with yourself. It takes as long as it takes to rebuild yourself." -Unknown
People say that sometimes things need to fall before you can rebuild. Sometimes it is you as a person. Your whole being gets completely wrapped up and the next thing you know, you are at the bottom, looking up, and not really sure where to turn. The feelings of anger, frustration, being scared, hurting, crying all begin to overwhelm you, and at that point you need to decide, is this now when I admit I need help?
Over the last month and a half, I have hit that bottom. I have looked at myself, my family, and decided that I need help, and finally decided that I need to do this for me first. When you hit that bottom, you find out who is really going to be there to help you through the hell, and who doesn't want any part of your life, and follows you only through social media. You find which ones will call you and go, I know you've made mistakes, I know you are hurting, what can I do, and you find which ones will rather back out of your life, be pissed and leave you (which at this current time in my life I really don't need.) I have found both. I have friends who know what has happened, who said yup you've hit bottom, what do you want to do now? I need help. Ok, what can I do to help you? It amazes me the people you thought would be there aren't.
With all this said, 2013 will be bringing quite a few changes. For me, my boys, our lives. I have to find that delicate balance of it all, while trying to get through all of this. One step at a time I'm told. It is true, one simple little baby step is all you need. First is the realization that you need help.
To all of you who have offered your help through all of this, I can't tell you thank you and I love you enough. This is me, bare bones. Completely shattered and getting ready to put the pieces all back together.
There is a saying that you can break down a woman temporarily, but a real woman will always pick up the pieces, rebuild herself, and come back stronger than ever.
That is my main goal for 2013!!!!!
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