A simple laugh

This morning I was going down to the gift shop to grab some Mt. Dew like I usually do, and I met this amazing little girl.  Her name was Elyse, and as we started talking she told me that she was 3.  The thing about Elyse is that she had no hair, just stubble and was wearing this beautiful purple flower dress.  She told me that she had neuroblastoma and that she was having to start treatment again.  Her uncle told me that she had been doing treatments, and they thought it had gone into remission, and out of no where came back.  She saw my pacemaker scar and thought that I had a port like her, and I told her that I had a little machine that helps my heart.  Then she saw my heart scar.  She asked me if she could touch it and asked if it hurt.  I told her no, that my chest didn't hurt anymore, she said, you wanna see my scars.  Right there in the gift shop this little girl lifted up her dress and showed me her belly, her port scar on her chest and the scar that she had right down the middle of her spine.  She said see even these make me look pretty.  I told her, that she was beautiful with her scars.  She gave me a hug, and told me to have a good day, as her and her uncle headed back to her room.  That one little girl hug, made my day.  Life is so delicate.  Her smile was amazing and her laughter intoxicating as she was dragging her uncle around the shop looking for things to get.  So here is to the kids with their scars, rock em!!!  Be proud of them.  Your scar is the outward symbol of an inward journey.  NEVER, NEVER, NEVER forget that.  To Elyse, you made my day. 

‎15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

‎15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy :

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle.

5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle.

6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell.

10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer.

11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt.

12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Thoughts

Over the last couple of weeks, there have been many rude remarks made about my weight.  So for those of you who are not enlightened let me tell you this.  I'm a 32 year old mom who was born with a CHD.  I suffered a stroke during my heart surgery, had a son 11 months later, who for the longest time didn't even remember having.  I ended up having a hysterectomy 10 months after Kyle was born, and having sternal wires removed in 09.  Then I will tag in Bentley, who the first round was put in wrong and fried my heart.  Second round, I'm dependent on my pacemaker.  I'm currently in Stage B CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and have tagged on between 60-80 lbs due to medications that I need to be on to help my heart.  All of this happened from 2005 on.  So when you look at me and think, man she could stand to loose some weight, remember, on the outside, I look normal and probably fluffy.  I am currently 223 lbs.  How is that?  I actually listed my weight.  I have never in my life been this big.  EVER.  On the inside, there is a constant stuggle just to keep living.  In my mind, and each day I wake up, I'm grateful for each day I have, each breath I take, and the chance to be a mom, wife, daughter, sister, best friend, what have you.  You aren't there when my feet swell so bad they feel like they are going to split.  You aren't there when I wake up in the middle of the night, trying to fight to breathe.  You aren't there when I look at my heart scar in the mirror and start crying because you have that realization of just how precious life is.  You aren't there when you go to bed with a funky heart rhythm questioning is this going to be the night that God says it is time to come home, or even the thought that your kid is going to try and wake you up and your gone?  I very rarely will talk to people about my life, especially on this level.  However, if you truly want to know me, ask me.  I will tell you live life to the fullest, make the most of each day you have, always tell your kids and family just how much you love them.  I can honestly say I've been dead more times than I care to admit.  I have a purpose in this life, however I'm not quite sure what it is yet, and I won't ever quit trying to figure that out.  Tonight, many requests went into my Give it to God box.  Many things going through my head.  But, the least of my concern right now is what someone thinks when they say I am fat.  Look at me, tell me, what have you done today to put a smile on someones face?  Did you help a elderly lady who dropped a bag of groceries?  Did you talk on the phone to a close friend who is on a heart transplant list waiting to get a second chance at life, or trying to console a friend who is choosing hospice at a young age?  Do you listen to parents as they tell you about their little ones and the new challenges or achievements they have made?  Do you listen to your son tell you how awesome of a mom you are?  Do you pick up your phone for family who is just checking on you or are having a hard time in their own life?  These are things that I do on a regular basis, because that is me.  I am happy being me, I am happy for what I have been through because it is those things that gave me courage, strength, and the realization that sometimes I do need help. 

Heart Failure in Young Athletes

This is something that really needs to be done....From the HeartWaves blog, Holly touches on the need to have young athletes screened.


Over 10 million adolescents participate in extracurricular sports activities every year in theUnited States. Despite the many advances in medical care and the performance of sports physicals, a significant number of teenage athletes die without warning every year. One to two per 200,000 student athletes die of sudden unexpected deaths while participating in athletic games every year. Sudden cardiac death (SCD) is defined as death of cardiac origin that occurs within several hours of the usual state of health and is unanticipated and not related to trauma or other organ disease. The death of young, apparently healthy individuals who are considered to be at the pinnacle of fitness, impacts upon sport, their peers, family and friends and the community as a whole.

Many of the cardiovascular abnormalities that cause sudden cardiac death in athletes exhibit no signs or symptoms prior to the lethal event. The cause of sudden death in athletes is usually an underlying cardiovascular disorder, which includes inherited and congenital heart diseases. Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM) was found to be the most common cause of death in student athletes, accounting for over thirty percent of the cases. Other conditions that lead to sudden cardiac death in athletes include congenital coronary artery anomalies, Marfan syndrome, and cardiac electrical-conduction abnormalities.

Students who wish to participate in extracurricular sport activities are required to have a preparticipation physical evaluation. Preparticipation cardiovascular screening is the systematic practice of medically evaluating large, general populations of athletes before participation in sports for the purpose of identifying (or raising suspicion of) abnormalities that could provoke disease progression or sudden death. The current recommendation from the American Heart Association for student athletes is to have a physical examination every two years at a minimum. The preparticipation physical evaluation was created over 20 years ago to provide a method to provide medical clearance for athletes who might be at risk for sudden death from physical activity.

The time designated for the preparticipation physical evaluations also serves as a time for a routine health maintenance exam. The athletic preparticipation physical exam has become a standard of care for high school students across the nation to participate in extracurricular sport activities. In theUnited States, the pre-participation evaluation includes obtaining a thorough personal and family health history and the physical examination.

The American Academy of Pediatrics released guidelines for healthcare providers to follow to determine eligibility for sports participation in screening individuals with common medical conditions. Approximately 10% of students require further evaluation for abnormal findings either in the history or upon examination and over two percent will be completely excluded from all sports participation. If any concerns are noted in the medical history or if an abnormality is found during physical examination, the individual will be referred to a specialist for further evaluation, where clearance can be determined. The important message for all parents and students to understand is that while this sports physical exam and history is thorough, it is not an exact science, it is simply a screening process. Routine health examinations and follow-up are essential to the well-being of all individuals. If there are any concerns the student or parent may have, they should discuss them with their primary health care provider.

Holly Tomlin

CHD AWARENESS!!!!!

Thoughts for a Beautiful Day! An update....

For the last couple months, there has been so much that has happened, that it seriously has been a whirlwind.  Kyle is getting ready to graduate from preschool and start Kindergarten in the fall.  The last 6 months has flown by.  With a trip to Louisiana to meet my niece and nephew to watching my nieces grow up out here, life has truly been a blessing.  Kyle has started asking more and more about my heart scar and how exactly they do surgery.  This is something that we are having to answer more, and because he wants specifics, he has been asking very in depth questions.  I've been able to go back to church and in October was baptized with my friend Vanessa with me.  It was important to me.  My life had been going through so many changes, and it was the time for me to begin my walk with God.  Me and Kevin are doing great.  Since the stroke was diagnosed last year and we have been able to get meds to help with the stroke side of things, there has been in a huge change and it has actually been good to enjoy my family time.  I have been accepted to the Adult Congenital Heart Association Heart to Heart Ambassador Program which I am looking forward to with all my heart.  A chance to help others who have been where I was years ago and able to educate.  There is so much in the CHD community that has moved me this year.  Many of my mended little brothers and sisters are making huge jumps in leaps and bounds.  It has been awesome to watch one milestone after another achieved.  I have met a lot more adults in the Tucson community with CHD and it is amazing that with as big as Tucson is, we don't have a CHD program for our adults.  I would love to see this come to fruition.  Currently we have been having an upwards battle with Bentley.  We have had issues where there have been days where she works beautifully and there has been days where there might be a slip up here or there.  I checked multiple things off my bucket list this year so far.  Simple things, but one of the biggest I am excited about was going bungee jumping.  It was like flying, one of the most amazing feelings in the world.  Right now....I'm in a great place with family, my faith, my heart.  I couldn't ask for better people in my life, and surely couldn't ask for a better Kevin and Kyle.  Hugs and love to all.  Will be posting more on here as I get going again. 

Life is So Short....

Today reminded me just how short life really is and how anything can happen in a single moment.  Just to remember that you should never take life for granted!!!!  So here is some advice on how to live life to the fullest:

1) Seize each day. Live each day as if it's your last and overall just do it! Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present. Be present to enjoy the moment. Each day is a fresh start with options just waiting to be explored, so what are you waiting for?

2) Be adventurous. Explore, live on the edge a little, and embrace new challenges. Visit new places with your loved ones. Take the road less traveled. Don’t stick to the same old, same old. Life is more exciting with adventure!

3) Keep a journal. Record your accomplishments as well as your delights. Take time to reflect on what has been previously written. Be an inspiration to yourself and others!!!!

4) Love everyone.

• Love yourself. Focus on your inner and outer beauty to see the same in others. Acceptance comes from within. Don’t focus on the things you don’t like about yourself. Rather, find the things you love about yourself.
• Love others. Love the ones who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Life is too precious to be wasted on waiting for love.

5) Accept everyone. Be kind and courteous. Enjoy the company of others. Acknowledge their goodness rather than the differences in their beliefs. Do not judge others. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

6) Find purpose in life. Find something that gives your life meaning, be it being a great friend, sibling, parent, grandparent, teacher, neighbor, etc. Once you have found something to live for, you’ll live better.

7) Give back. Be selfless in service to others. Do charitable service outside of your immediate community as well. Giving back will not only make you better as a person, it will help others.

8) Seek balance. Understand the night and day, back and forth, good and bad in all things.

9) Be positive. Focus on good thoughts and good things will happen. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Beating yourself up won’t help anything. Be positive. Say, think, and do positive things. Always look on the sunny side of life. Remember that the glass isn’t half empty, it’s half full.

10) Listen to your heart and soul. Listen for advice, but be confident in making your own decision. Use your instinct. Don’t let others tell you what to do.

11) Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. It releases endorphins and promotes longevity. Inner joy is beautiful!

12) Appreciate the little things. Take a walk around your community to experience the wonder in a way that you have never experienced it before. Pretend that you are from a different country and you’re here for the first time. Go out with your family and take time to appreciate them. Take it all in and find the beauty it - it’s all around you, just open up your eyes and look!

13) Forgive yourself and others. Release your negative energy that holds you back, your past failures, embrace whatever life offers you.

14) Anticipate tomorrow. Everyday is unique, like the blossoming clouds. It's never the same, but always beautiful. If things aren’t going right for you, remember that there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow, your life could change for the better.

15) Accept death. Pondering death brings appreciation to life. Take time to appreciate the expanse and beauty of your life and our earth. Don’t fight death or live in fear of it. Let go peacefully.

16) Appreciate the environment. Take a break occasionally and go for a walk. Assume that you have come from another planet. Take a fresh look at the clouds, the colors of sky at sunset and sunrise. Look at the plants, trees, leaves, and flowers and how they sway when wind blows. Look at water how it shakes and shapes itself in the vessel it's stored. Look at numerous forms of life - insects, animals, birds and humans. This exercise will clear off the dead memories and monotony that kills the joy of living.

17) Maintain a strong foundation of beliefs.  However, be humble and open to others opinions (in truth). Stand up for what you believe in and don’t let others push you around, but be open to other people's ideas, as they may surprise you. Do not get caught up on little things.

18) Make Friends. Make true friends; friends around whom you can be yourself. Go more places with them so that you can share your joy with someone else. By being around people you will become a more understanding person.

19) Inspire yourself. Do something that inspires you, be it finding a role model or simply reading an inspirational quote life is better once you’ve enlightened yourself!

20) Take nothing for granted. Appreciate everything and everyone around you - your family, friends, house, pets, environment, and world. One day, you may wake up to find that one of those things is gone, so appreciate them while you have them.

21) Follow your dreams. Make a list of everything you’ve ever dreamed of doing and then make it happen. Dreams aren’t achieved by sitting around and waiting. They’re achieved by getting up and working for them! Work hard and make your dreams a reality! Work hard and play harder! You can always fulfill your dreams. If you really want something, find a way to achieve it!

22) Don’t give up. Do not accept defeat, even if it seems like it’s the only option. Look at the obstacles that others have overcome to be who they are and to fight for what they think is right. Translate that into your everyday life and use that mindset to accomplish simple things in life.